Under New Management

I've relocated: www.herecomescookie.tumblr.com

However, I might occasionally update this guy here with some written entries every now and then. You know, with significant subjects like Two and a Half Men or whatever else I write about.

Such as this conversation I just had with my mom about Facebook:
Mom: This 'wall-to-wall', does it get posted to that feed where everybody can see it?
Me: What?
Mom: If I respond with a 'wall-to-wall' can other people see what I write?
Me: Yeah, I don't really understand what you mean, but whatever you write on somebody's wall is essentially public.
Mom: Oh...... So how do I write a private message?
Me: (Yikes.)

THE JOYS OF MOMS AND FACEBOOK!

But anywho, the new bloggy is all about visuals. Check it!

16 Seconds of Claude Giroux

Claude Giroux will become a superstar in the sport of hockey, this I am sure. He's a smart and extremely skillful, but I like him because he has such great work ethic. He just never gives up, as evidenced in that 16 second video clip. Really, he's the BEST.

Plus, 28 is my second favorite number, next to 31. I miss hockey.

$$$ Ke$ha Quote$ $$$

I have cartoon hate for Ke$ha. Like the kind of hate where smoke starts coming out of my ears and my body turns a furious shade of rojo every time I hear one of her "songs".

Her insincerity drives me nuts, and she tries way too hard to act like a trashy pAArtygUrRl. If she was actual garbage I wouldn't even hate her...it's this fake image that she tries to create that really infuriates me.

Here are a few excerpts from a recent interview she did with Paper Magazine:

On her love for DIY tattooing -- A friend of mind told me you can [tattoo] with pen ink and a safety pin and I was like, 'That's amazing. I could give tattoos at anywhere in the world at any hotel.' I saw this hot dude recently and I gave him a tattoo sitting in the lobby of the hotel. I was just like, 'Can I borrow a pen and a sewing kit?' I think I got an admirer out of that one.

On being a 'pervert' -- I wouldn't say I'm aggressive, but I'm a pervert. I have a gold Trans Am and my favorite thing to do in the world is to drive around blasting Zeppelin or Sabbath, cat calling dudes.

On her pick-up methods in bars -- I usually do something ridiculous like send him over a shot of whiskey and then spank him. Something like that.


CASE IN POINT. Ke$ha BA-LOWSSSS.

Accurate

Kid from Two And A Half Men vs. Caroline Manzo (Real Housewives of NJ)

[via @adamcarolla]

Two and a Half Men Conspiracy Theory

I learned today that Charlie Sheen will be banking $2 million per episode (...per episode!!?!) for the next season of Two and a Half Men.


Seriously, what the heck.

Apparently this show pulls in the ratings and has millions of viewers. HOWEVER, I do not know a single person who has ever seen even one episode. Even more puzzling, I've never even heard of anyone who has caught an episode, even while channel surfing.

Logically, this leads me to believe that Two and a Half Men does not exist. It's all just one big charade. And if they wanted to keep up the ruse they should have made Sheen's paycheck a little more believable. COME ON!

I'm on to you, Two and a Half Men. And for that matter...you too, Friday Night Lights.

Instant Nostalgia

Coachella in 10 Items or Less:

1) Chico the Man & Rockford
2) Jenk-um* and juggalos
3) Luxury tent camping
4) Circle dance rave parties
5) Sunburn and dirty feet
6) When Harry Met Suzanne
7) Stride Gum 5Gum Tent
8) Glow-in-the-dark swing sets
9) Glitter People!
10) AND ABSOLUTELY PHENOMENAL MUSIC!!!!!!!!!!!!







Only 363 days until next year!

* I don't exactly know how to spell jenk-um and I'm way too scared to google it. So this is my best guess.

Jack Attack

"I hope that children of the next generation are going to be shown there is more beauty and romance in tangible, mechanical things than in invisible, digital things. The artists of the past all had their rebellion. Elvis was rebelling against sexual repression and Dylan was rebelling against immorality and I feel like I'm rebelling against technology and the death of romance." - Jack White

Hmm.

My Little Friend Henry

There's a little bird that flies around the window behind my desk almost every day. I named him Henry. He'll hang out on the windowsill and chirp. Sometimes he'll tap the glass with his beak. Usually he only stops by for a quick visit after lunch, but today he's been hanging around all day long. I wonder what my little friend wants. Maybe he needs my help with something.

And speaking of birds, isn't Andrew Bird just the best?

I Wish My Name Was Memphis Minnie

This is my usual reaction when a Led Zeppelin song comes on the radio:





And it's a little absurd because I consider myself a Zeppelin fan, but I'm just so sick of hearing them, especially on the radio. ...Though I feel bogus even thinking that. Like such a phony. I mean, by the time I was even born Bonham had been dead for seven years and Zeppelin was already on to its second reunion gig. And that was when I was BORN...Led Zeppelin didn't even enter my radar until about 12 or 13 years later (side note: that's also around the same time I discovered Pink Floyd was, in fact, NOT just one man named Floyd).

But anyway, my interest really peaked in high school when Jimmy and Bobby reconciled their differences, and rumors about a triumphant Zeppelin reunion started to surface. Shortly thereafter they were releasing How The West Was Won. And how I had loved them. But Led Zeppelin has been ruling the airwaves for 40 years so to say that I'm sick of them after just a decade of listening just seems pitiful in comparison. Though I feel completely justified in saying that I'm soooo sick of Nirvana because that's more my generation, well, sorta. I often ask myself when they'll stop force feeding us Smells Like Teen Spirit, and I've realized the answer is NEVER. We have a lifetime of the same Nirvana songs to look forward to. But back to Zepp...

Okay, so why bring all this up? Well, the other day I'm sitting in my car on the way home from work and I'm stuck in terrible traffic on this tiny rural two-lane road. Oh, and it was raining...wait, not just raining, it was POURING. I was tired and grouchy and I couldn't wait to change out of these really uncomfortable work pants. So when Zeppelin came on the radio I let out an instinctive groan. But as I reached for that dial I had to stop.

The song playing was When The Levee Breaks - that relentless pounding of Bonzo's drums, the wails of the harmonica, Plant oozing with sleaze. The song is thick and sludgy and sounds exactly how I envision the muddy banks of the Mississippi River to sound. (And it should sound that way - Zeppelin's version is based on a classic delta blues song written by Kansas Joe McCoy and Memphis Minnie in 1929. NPR did a great little story a few years ago on Zeppelin's appropriation of American blues: Listen here! But that's a whole other topic in itself.)

But anyway, that song was the most perfect song for that particular moment. It matched my mood and the weather just flawlessly, and I LOVE when songs match weather. And while I didn't go home and listen to album after Zeppelin album, it did remind me why I fell in love with them in the first place. Led Zeppelin is a rite of passage and they were sort of my gateway drug to rock and roll - it was through Zeppelin (and The Allman Brothers) that my interest in all things not N'Sync started... Scary, huh? So while I may get sick of them now and then, it's impossible not to appreciate their music. Sleaze and all. And yeah, I guess I have an appreciation for Nirvana too, but I swear if I have to hear In Bloom one more G-D time........

Zebras and Moonbeams

Sometimes I wish Little Wing was longer of a song. I'm talking about the Hendrix studio version. I just never want it to end. I read somewhere once that Hendrix kept it short because he had nothing more to say on the matter. Though I don't know how true that is...

Thank god for all the live versions and covers.

Such as this one:


Pearl Jam does a pretty nice cover too. It's no SRV but it's good. And come to think of it, my favorite Pearl Jam song Yellow Ledbetter sounds a lot like Little Wing - similar chordal/melodic styling. So good.

There Is A God!

This morning I was pleasantly reminded of the time Fabio killed a goose with his face while riding a roller coaster. I don't care that it happened in 1999. I'm still going to talk about this because it fascinates me on so many levels.

First of all, the image alone of Fabio riding a roller coaster is just hilarious to begin with; his blonde hair flowing in the breeze, his huge chiseled body buckled in to those little seats. That being said, Fabio was the one person selected to promote the launch of this new coaster. Basically, the only person on the ride who mattered. And it was HIS face out of everyone else on the ride that got hit by a goose. BY A FLYING GOOSE!!! We're dealing with two separate velocities of two separate moving objects, and they just happened to collide mid-flight. And it's not like the bird just flew into Fabio's arm or something. No, this bird collided right with Fabio's nose. Fabio, the model, gets hit in the face with a bird. He needs that face!

THANKFULLY Fabio prevailed and walked away with nothing more than a little scratch. And the poor bird? Well, according to witnesses that poor little birdy died on impact and was spotted in the lake floating away to a sad and watery grave.

Video of The Incident:


Seriously, what are the chances. I bet the Universe is still laughing about pulling that one off so flawlessly.

Twins!

Satriani

Voldemort

PS - next time you're watching Harry Potter IV take a close look at the band playing the Yule Ball. It's Radiohead.

Thom Yorke & Matt Bellamy Are Probably BFFs

Soo... let's talk MUSE for a minute.

I've always liked Muse, but it was never anything more than a casual relationship. And then something happened... you know the phenomenon - you're listening to your iTunes and a random song that's been collecting dust in your library starts to play. Maybe you've even heard it before, or maybe not, but THIS time it really hits a nerve and you just connect. Then you can't get enough. Well one night, "Micro Cuts" caught me off-guard at the perfect time, and so began my full blown love affair with MUSE.


But why do I love Muse so much? Well, I've realized they are my Radiohead 2.0, and we all know how much I worship Radiohead. As some random dude on the radio put it, "Muse is what Radiohead would be if Radiohead didn't go the computer route." An interesting thought, and there's definitely some truth behind the statement. There are lots of artistic parallels. Stylistically they draw from similar inspirations with roots in classical, prog rock, space rock, and electronica to name a few. They start from the same tree, but branch out in separate directions.

Oh, and they're both British. Which sounds kinda dumb, but it gives them that innate European vibe, onto which they both add other worldly influences. Then let's see...there's also similar political, scientific, and extraterrestrial themes (with a little love laced throughout). Similar themes, but unique point of views and different connotations. Radiohead is a little more commentary, more analytical, while Muse throws in those mandates for revolution (i.e. "Uprising"). And as someone pointed out to me, Muse will do these RATM/Tom Morello-inspired riffs in the outros, sorta like a resonating call to action. And while there's lots of similarities, I wouldn't even know how to begin categorizing all the differences. So they are similar yet completely different. Kinda like in LOST how Jack on the island is the same as Jack in the parallel universe...except that the Jacks are actually different. Honestly, I don't even know what I'm talking about anymore. But I think my whole point here is that Brits are just better.

To wrap this up - I saw Muse last night and I'm still coming down from it. Matt Bellamy has the voice of an angel and his falsetto can make grown men weep. I remember feeling very inferior when this happened:

HOW COOL DOES THAT LOOK??? They're like three deities rising above the Earth. So sublimely beautiful.

Seriously can't wait for Coachella now. Thom Yorke & Matt Bellamy at the same festival?? I'll be in heaven.

Love Love Love Love Love

I throw around the word "love" a lot...  But that's only because I speak in superlatives.  

I love extremes.  Best. Thing. Ever.